The Truth About Self-Care: Beyond Bubble Baths and Scented Candles

Self-care seems to be quite popular these days. It’s a term that has been increasingly mentioned over the last few years. We are repeatedly told how important self-care is and that we need to prioritize it. But what exactly is self-care? If you ask ten people how they define self-care, you would probably get ten different definitions. Simply put, self-care refers to the actions, behaviors, and attitudes that contribute to someone’s sense of well-being.

The Full Scope of Self-Care

A common definition of self-care is that it is heavily related to our physical self. While taking care of our bodies and maintaining healthy habits is part of our well-being, self-care includes much more than just physical health. It encompasses mental and emotional stability, healthy relationships, and meaningful uses of time.

Why Self-Care Matters

When something is repeatedly emphasized as important, it’s crucial to understand why. Stress is generally well understood, but many fail to recognize how it impacts our entire being. When stress isn’t managed effectively, it can lead to burnout—a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion that makes daily functioning feel impossible. For those coping with anxiety and depression, unmanaged stress can lead to more severe symptoms and feelings of despair or helplessness.

When we are tired, we naturally want to rest. But modern life doesn’t always allow us to simply check out when we need a break. Responsibilities don’t go away, and expectations remain. That’s why regular self-care is crucial—if we wait until burnout, we risk damaging our relationships, responsibilities, and overall well-being.

Recognizing Burnout

Burnout manifests in many ways, including:

• Procrastination due to a lack of motivation, leading to overwhelming workloads

• Avoiding household chores while feeling guilty about the mess piling up

• Becoming irritable or snapping at loved ones for no clear reason

• Social withdrawal, where colleagues, friends, and family notice your absence

• Constant exhaustion, where even small tasks feel daunting

The saying “you can’t pour from an empty cup” holds true. Self-care allows you to replenish your energy and emotional reserves so you can engage meaningfully with life.

What Self-Care Is Not

• An Additional Burden – Self-care isn’t about adding more to your to-do list. It’s about maintaining a level of well-being so that you can be the best version of yourself.

• A Commercial Trend – While bubble baths, scented candles, and a glass of wine can be relaxing, self-care is not about purchasing products to feel better.

• A Social Media Aesthetic – The commercialization of self-care can create unrealistic expectations. Social media may portray self-care as perfectly curated moments, but real self-care is about intentional actions, not appearances.

What True Self-Care Looks Like

Self-care is a deeply personal process that involves:

Developing Insight and Self-Awareness

• What works for others may not work for you.

• Comparing your self-care routine to others can lead to disappointment and frustration.

• Recognizing what truly brings you peace and well-being is essential.

Identifying Your Actual Needs

• Is your stress due to a lack of free time, or is it because your time isn’t being used in a meaningful way?

• Digging deeper into what you truly need helps prevent surface-level solutions that don’t address the root problem.

REST

• Rest is necessary, and productivity does not determine self-worth.

• Breaking the guilt associated with rest is a vital part of self-care.

• Sometimes, doing nothing is the best form of self-care.

Confronting Areas for Growth

• Recognizing areas for improvement can be difficult but necessary.

• Self-care involves setting boundaries and developing self-discipline.

• For example, if bringing work stress home affects your relationships, true self-care involves setting limits on work-related tasks at home.

Therapy as a Form of Self-Care

Therapy provides a structured space for self-reflection and personal growth. Counselors and can help identify needs and guide strategies to meet them. Self-care often overlaps with coping skills, but therapy adds depth and long-term solutions.

Addressing All Areas of Self-Care

True self-care involves addressing multiple areas of life, not just one. The Wellness Wheel consists of various dimensions of well-being:

Physical Self-Care

• Supports the immune system and helps prevent disease.

• Physical activity releases brain chemicals that enhance happiness and energy levels.

• Getting adequate sleep and rest is essential.

Mental Self-Care

• Reduces stress and regulates cortisol levels, impacting overall health.

• Activities like journaling, meditation, and therapy help maintain mental clarity.

Emotional Self-Care

• Involves managing emotions in a healthy way and fostering self-efficacy.

• Encourages emotional expression and the development of emotional intelligence.

Social Self-Care

• Fosters a sense of connection, love, and belonging.

• Strengthens support networks and encourages reaching out for help when needed.

Spiritual Self-Care

• Provides a sense of greater purpose and meaning.

• Helps individuals connect with their identity, values, and beliefs.

Financial and Occupational Self-Care

• Leads to stability and a sense of control over life circumstances.

• Finding purpose in work and financial security reduces stress.

Intellectual Self-Care

• Engages the mind through reading, learning, and problem-solving.

• Strengthens focus, concentration, and decision-making skills.

Creative Self-Care

• Encourages balance, fun, and play.

• Allows permission to step away from structure and embrace creativity.

Environmental Self-Care

• Maintaining a clean and organized space can reduce stress.

• A clutter-free environment can enhance feelings of safety and control.

Conclusion

Self-care is not just about relaxation; it’s about self-preservation. True self-care involves understanding your needs, setting boundaries, and taking intentional steps toward overall well-being. It’s about fostering a sustainable lifestyle that allows you to function at your best without reaching the point of burnout. By embracing a holistic approach to self-care, you can cultivate a healthier, more balanced life—one that prioritizes your well-being without guilt or unrealistic expectations.